Let it not be said that the Viking ladies are a bunch of shrinking violets. The following is an account of New Year’s Eve Festivities:
Stephanie: “We were relaxed, we just wanted to have a good time for New Year’s and Sarah’s birthday..”
Jil: “Yeah, even when that one girl was snotty and dumped her drink all over Sarah, Sarah just walked away.”
Sarah, whose Viking name is Manpunch, so named for having no reservations about punching a man if he deserves it, is the charter member of the Manpunch Sisterhood.
Stephanie: “Yeah, it was that girl’s birthday too and she got all mad when they called Sarah up on stage, like two people couldn’t have the same birthday. I thought things were gonna go bad, but Sarah just left it alone and was cool about it.”
Jil:”We heard that the cops were coming, so the entire place just kinda left. We weren’t doing anything wrong, but you know….”
Let it also be said that where the cops are, the Vikings are not. Just a general rule of thumb we try to live by. You can never be too careful about outstanding warrants.
Stephanie:”Anyway, we were all leaving and this one guy starts throwing his hands up and saying ‘I’m a welder and I’ll blah blah blah.” And our friend that was with us tells him “Well, I’m a welder’s helper so blah blah blah” and the next thing I know there was a full-on brawl. I’m not really sure what was going on, all I was thinking was ‘why is everybody so mad at us?’
There was some squabbling and then I see Mikey on the ground with some dude in a headlock, so I ran over there to try and push him off of him, but I couldn’t move him, probably ‘cause Mikey had him in a headlock I think, then these four other guys got involved and it was just crazy.
Then I spotted the original guy in the crowd, and I don’t know, I just went crazy.,.”
Jil:”Yeah, it was some Crouching Tiger, Hidden Manpunch stuff. She practically flew in the air.”
Stephanie:”Yeah, I kind of Supermanned him…”
(Jil demonstrates):”She like ran across the parking lot and jumped up and punched him in the head. Knocked him down cold.”
Stephanie:”So this other guy started to beat me up, had me down on the ground until his friends were hollering at him ‘That’s a girl, that’s a girl!” I think he didn’t know I was a girl at first and then he tried to stop. But I’m all ‘where you goin, dude?” I had my legs all wrapped around him in a leg lock and I was just swinging and throwing windmills.
Then these girls hit me in the back of the head and Sarah came flying out of the truck and got into it with the girls that hit me… seems like the brawl lasted for twenty minutes. The cops were already there and didn’t even try to break it up.
It was crazy, and I didn’t even know why everybody was so mad. We didn’t do anything until people started swinging. Anyway I’m pretty sure we won. Sarah was the one who actually got everybody back in the truck, and you know she’s usually the one who gets mad and starts swinging first.
When I got back in the truck, I felt bad. Turns out the first guy I hit wasn’t actually the guy who was fighting with Mikey, he was just a bystander. And I think he was too old to be in a parking lot brawl. He wasn’t ancient or anything, but I just started crying… All the guys were like “Stephanie, why are YOU crying? You knocked that guy out.” I just felt really bad. And my knuckles really hurt today. I didn’t know it hurts so much to hit somebody.”
The Vikings extend a warm welcome to the newest member of the Manpunch Sisterhood: Stephanie Craig. And the Sisterhood would like to remind their men that we know you don’t NEED help in a brawl situation, but we’d rather fight for you than fight with you.
Happy Pillaging.
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